This one is more for the parents…. mmm how do I approach this subject, I have heard it explained as “getting it on” , “making luuurrrvveee”, “making babies” etcetera however we all know I am talking about sex and well how it changes once you become a parent.
In the beginning it is not so bad as long as your not picturing 50 shades action more along the lines of spew and milk stained clothes, unpredictable boobs that spray milk at the most unromantic times and to be interrupted by a crying child right at the “don’t stop” moment.
I say not so bad at that stage as not so much time has passed since the romantic days of those long loving nights when you concieved (and your child can’t open doors yet!)
Once you move into the toddler years it becomes a game. Something along the lines of: As your spouse walks out of the shower and asks is the child asleep yet, you reply “yes” in your most sexy voice (you are laying on the bed in your most unstained tshirt and granny jocks).
You see the glow in your spouses eye as they all of a sudden they start walking with a bounce in their step.
I call this the parent seduction dance, picture an elephant walking along swinging their trunk while strutting like a rooster. Seeing the signal you sit up and do your best come here stud look (picture messy hair winking eye and pointing to your tits like wow look at these to distract them from the black rings around your eyes.)
You both say at the same time “Is the door locked” oh it’s on tonight he quickly bounds towards the door before returning to the bed, you both know this needs to happen quickly or not at all as you rememeber the washing needs to be moved to the dryer. DAM IT looks like I will be rewashing that load again!!!!
But before you all get to excited I will stop there we all know what happens next😜
Let’s be honest these days will pass the little ones will grow up and leave and you will have all the time in the world for eachother, but until then take the time to enjoy the rushed stolen moments. One day you will look back and laugh!!Happy days warriors xo