My Preschooler is a Jedi and Christmas is Coming!!

Greetings,

As I am writing my pre-schooler is running around the house singing Merry Christmas in October and writing her list for Santa. I guess this leaves plenty of time for Santa to get organised, as it is almost completely Frozen themed. This year her biggest request is for Frozen stuff (no not the frozen food type at woolworths) the one she has requested in particular is a house for Princess Anna and Queen Elsa.

If you haven’t started looking for a Frozen doll house yet here is a heads up yesterday in Target there was one left and the helpful staff tell me they MAY get more in stock before Christmas!!!!!!!!!!So start the internet shopping now. Some smarter parents have got in before me and a quick browse of the auctions on e-bay, have some of the Frozen mansions bids already up to $500 (at that price I will buy a normal doll house and paint it blue). So I am predicting clashing trolleys, crazy eyed parents and pleading parents trying to get their hands on anything Frozen in time for Santa to deliver on Christmas day. I  know if I was thinking ahead I would have got these things at the mid year sale but where is the challenge in that.

Now if you thought frozen fever was coming to a close, there is a rumour in the parent world of pending doom!!!!! A second Frozen movie is in production and it will be coming to a cinema near you in the near future. I already find myself waking in a cold sweat at night thinking about it, for some reason I can’t “Let it go”, it just seems, “for the first time in forever”, it was nearly over but Christmas is nearly here and I just know I may be asked, “Do you want to build a snowman” which is completely impractical in the tropics literally impossible but hey “I just can’t wait to do, what frozen things do in summer” so no there is no end to frozen fever anytime soon.

In other news the pre-schooler has obtained a new skill (jedi-mind trick) reverse psychology. She is even applying it in her negotiation skills. This has caught me well off guard as I did not obtain this skill until at least 10 I think. The moment I realised what was going on was a normal day just like any other,  when pre-schooler asked “I don’t want that banana mummy, it has sugar in it”, I laughed in reply “You can have it, there is no sugar it is fine”, then the look of accomplishment ahh dear mummy I have you in the palm of my hand. She then proceeded to eat the whole bunch, my protests were met with, “It’s ok mummy, there is no sugar in it”.

I was surprised but thought no just a coincidence this is until it continued a Friday night, a movie on TV, bedtime approaching she asks “Aww it is bedtime mummy it is sleep time” with that sad look in her eyes, I could almost sense her sending a telepathic message, it’s ok stay awake watch your movie I tell her “It’s okay wait until your movie finishes”. The smile spreads she leans back in the chair, she knows she holds the power. I do not know when pre-schoolers hold these meetings and pass on their tips but it is happening! Be aware it may happen to you now I must go Pre-schooler is asking to put up the Christmas TREE as she neeedddddssss it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy days fellow parenting warriors =)

Advertisements
Standard

I am back!!! The Toddler is a Preschooler and she knows EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So between being a Mum and a full time worker I took a small break from blogging. Somehow I will sit down and write that blog tomorrow turned into next week then next month then next year then WOW two years, where did I write down my password. ALAS I found it and I am back.

So a few changes in two years my fussy eating, world domineering toddler is now a Pre-schooler !!!!!! She is so wise telling me all about letters and numbers and how her teacher is always right, for example if I say NO to juice she informs me “It is ok mummy Ms K said there is no sugar in juice I can have it”. Oh my darling so wise =) I find myself saying my own Mother’s favourites “WELL your teacher isn’t here and I am the Boss at home” not to be outdone from my quick-witted mini bossy boots with a short and sweet reply “No I am”. We have begun the eye-rolling, sassy, I know it all stage. However when this is done in a tutu with pigtails in her hair, it is very convincing and I am losing a lot of arguments (wonder which parent she inherited her attitude from).

I think her view of turning me into a sleep deprived Zombie has changed though. Pre-schoolers realise they need us adults around to drive them to play-dates, organise show and tell and cook dinner. I am not fooled though these cute little “Let it go” singers are still set on world domination and keep us parents at a level of exhaustion,so that we are easily manipulated into letting them control the TV remote and eat Jelly beans at 5am on a Saturday morning.

I have noted some big differences between being the mother of a toddler to a mother of a pre-schooler and thought I would highlight them for my fellow parents still in the toddler stage please view a short list below:

Lets kick it off with trips in public:

Toddler Mum: There is absolutely no point they just run away, coffee goes cold,everyone cries (I mean EVERYONE)

Pre-schooler Mum: We can go anywhere as long as there is a playroom or Jungle gym and OMG most family pubs have these (in emergency pack IPAD if no play area) buy some chicken nuggets for child, wine for mum, beer for dad and  everyone is happy!!!!!!

Food Shopping:

Toddler Mum: Enter store, toddler starts screaming in a banshee like state, forget what you came for, leave unsuccessful with some pouch yoghurts, nappies and a bottle of wine(adults don’t need food anyhow).Is it bedtime yet!!

Pre-schooler Mum: My child LOOOVVEESS shopping, helps push trolley, picks out which fruit she wants, we walk around casually with your shopping list smiling at the poor mum with the toddler having a breakdown in aisle 3, leave handing your child the chuppa chup you promised (bribed) them if they are on their best behaviour.(bottle of wine already at home because we stock the stuff at all times after making it through toddler hood).

Having people over:

Toddler Mum: Runs around insanely trying to make house semi clean before guests arrive, forget you are wearing a yoghurt stained shirt you have now had on for two days, greet guests with screaming toddler on hip, recall that you were supposed to buy nibbles again, put out some stale rice crackers and water as you are out of coffee, toddler climbs on guest and screams at you for attention the whole time, guest leaves (vow next time will be a childless girls night instead!!!!!!!)

Pre-schooler mum: This age is perfect they understand help me clean or I will throw out your toys, they ask who is coming over and are excited to see said guest, helps you get dressed while picking out their favourite toy and dress up outfit to show guest, you have the fridge stocked and nibbles ready wine is chilled, guest arrives, pre-schooler explains how big and smart they are before going to watch a movie on TV everyone is happy!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there is hope, touch wood so far being a mother of a Pre-schooler rocks she thinks I am awesome, she entertains me with her wealth of knowledge and we can go in public and appear normal. Happy days to all my fellow parenting warriors, friends and family xo.

Standard

Cooking with a toddler 101

Cooking with a toddler 101

 
I recall a conversation I had with a mother when I first learnt I was pregnant, you know the one I will make all my child’s meals they will be organic and my child will not eat processed foods. She looked at me kindly and said that’s nice if I was paying more attention I probably would have caught that “ha you have noooo idea” look in her eye.
 
I now look back and think wow how delusional was I!!! Don’t get me wrong it started out well for the first few months of her being on solids then I discovered all organic jar food and I never looked back it was soooo easy I didn’t even care when people looked in my trolley full of store bought rusks and baby food this was way easier. If I ever felt guilty I would just tip it in a tupperwear container and NOOONE was the wiser.
 
As little miss grew into a robust toddler she developed her own sense of taste and became extremely vocal on what she would eat for tea. If you drop into my house on any given day between 5 and 6pm (witching hour) you are likely to walk into a scene of absolute chaos it generally starts as soon as said toddler sees me start grabbing things from the fridge to make dinner she will stand at the toddler gate and begin her interrogation on what’s for tea “mmmm num num” translates to “is that tea what is it” I reply ” yes darling mums making spaghetti and mince ” she will stand there for 30 seconds before deciding I have had plenty of time to prepare her meal “me mum me mum me mum come on” I walk to the fridge grab her a Cheerio and hand it to her before returning to  the stove she takes a bite throws it in the ground ” yuk me mum num num num” rubbing her belly like she hasn’t been fed in a week.
 
I pour myself a glass of wine and keep cooking trying to drown out the constant yelling of num num num from little miss who is pulling the chairs over at the dining table in protest on the wait for dinner.
 
I finally get it on a plate put her meal on the table she takes a bite pokes her tongue out to scrap the horrible taste off her tongue and throws tea on the ground WELL she doesn’t want spaghetti tonight I raid the cupboard for something else in the meantime my dinner goes cold as I find a can of baked beans (woohoo easy she loves baked beans) I heat them quickly and serve them to her she seems content to eat them yes!!!!
 
I make the mistake of walking away from the table to reheat my meal and turn around to little miss making baked bean soup with her cup of water tipped into the now overflowing bowl (insert large exhale) ok what’s left aghhhh two minute noodles never fail I heat them up and what the hell I will eat them too my dinner has been reheated and is probably a bowl of breeding bacteria by now I will give it to the dogs!!!
 
It’s a hit she eats the whole bowl and licks it clean a full belly is good. I feel no guilt over processed foods anymore a happy toddler is a happy mum and if that means oven cooked chips fish fingers and two minute noodles that is what’s on the menu!! Happy dining all 🙂
Standard

Toddlers are taking over the world

Toddlers are taking over the world one sleep deprived parent at a time…… 

I have come to this conclusion whilst looking through pictures of myself as a child I was nowhere near as advanced as the smart phone, app using, tv controlling toddlers we have today.
An example is the daytime nap I don’t know about other parents but I long for these precious moments, not to clean, not to gather my thoughts. Just to close my eyes and nap right along next to her so I am always met with disappointment when I say “time for a nap” and get “NO” back I have even recalled days where I have bribed my child with ice blocks just to get that heavenly 30 mins sleep.
 
A second example is the nightly wake ups you know the ones where you have just gotten into a deep exhaustive sleep and you hear mummy screeching into the night( amazing how to you it is screaming though your husband can’t hear it) up you get just for the said toddler to stand there saying “come on mum cup of tea” whilst 1am is not the ideal time for imaginary tea parties toddlers use it as part of the plan and they do look so cute even at ungodly hours of the morning.
 
You know the plan is working it is easy to spot the sleep deprived parent they are generally the ones walking around in a zombie like state saying “don’t touch that” or “ta for mummy” whilst they try to control a toddler yelling the warcry of “me me me me me me” whilst not a clear direction most sleep deprived parents go into action grabbing everything in the vicinity saying “do you want this” handing over there wallets, mobile phones, keys and anything else the toddler desires to make them stop yelling that insidious “me me ME ME”. 
 
I have been told on many occasions that I will get to sleep through the night again and be in charge of my toddler but for now her zombie tactics are working she is taking over the world WELL at least our world!!!!!
Standard

Toddler wrangling I ain’t no expert

Welcome this is my first attempt at blogging but I really felt the urge to get my hilarious attempts at wrangling my two year old out there!!! 
 
How did this choice come about you ask easy as I was chasing my naked two year old across the lounge room floor this morning in attempt to dress her so we could go out into the world. 
As I sat down exhausted from chasing an active child who finally at least had her pull up nappy on have me that all knowing grin, the one where she squints her eyes, grits her teeth ever so slightly lifts her little leg then boom her nappy fills with an explosion to rival mine after a night of heavy drinking and bad kebabs!!!! 
 
I look her in the eye for that two second gap before I hear the familiar rrrrriiippp of the side tags of her nappy please NOOO. I move towards her slowly as not to start another game of chase, I get within arms reach when bang nappy is off she has thrown it at my foot which is now covered in pooh as she skips off down the hallway with that ever so cute smile!
 
So I thought why not share these riveting moments every parent goes through on the World Wide Web as the saying goes just for shits and giggles because that is what wrangling a toddler at this time is all about for me shits and giggles and it is worth every minute now where did I leave her favourite shoes I need to convince her to get to the car! Enjoy your day 🙂
Standard